Now with 100% more Title!

carryonmy-assbutt:

theshadyslut:

owlcitymordred:

stagdoeandfawn:

catully:

brigwife:

latitudeoctopus:

brigwife:

wait you mean you don’t use the word ‘fortnight’ in america???

Wait what? Then what do they use?

they don’t have a word

what do you mean they don’t have a word what kind of uncivilised people are they??

the fuck is a fortnight

It’s a word for ‘two weeks’

We say “two weeks”

*thousands of cups of tea smash to the ground in shock*

bundere:

What’s that on your hand????? *holds it* itS ME

sad-cannibal-noises:

ivyarchive:

buzzfeedgeeky:

Famous Movie Liners You’ve Been Quoting Wrong For Years.

image

I will use “Dammit, Jim I’m a doctor” til my dying breath

lying-is-the-most-fun-i-can-have:

mattkeanshair:

gothiccharmschool:

yesbrendonurie:

cokeflow:

You sing along to Panic At The Disco or you hop out of my car and walk

by Fall Out Boy

if you don’t understand why this is funny, I don’t think I can explain it to you. 

by Panic! At The Disco

Did you just

mushroomsugar:

*writes “like” on a cigarette and puts it in my mouth*

It’s a simile.

silverplatedpenname:

idiotsonfb:

Never knew how dangerous scissors could be.

can we focus on the fact that the guy said “paper does not have atoms”

sassy-brain:

I JUST FOUND COMEDIC GOLD ON A PORN WEBSITE OMFG

I WAS LOOKING UP PORN TO SHOW MY ROOMMATE WHO JAMES DEEN IS AND I FOUND A GUY WHO CALLS HIMSELF LIMERICK LARRY AND HE WRITES POEMS ABOUT THE PORN VIDEOS

I CAN’T BREATHE

imgfave:

Posted by Quotes Sayings
 - Levi Polka
55,555 plays

jeannikitakirschtein:

stoned-levi:

image

//OH NO YOU DIDN’T OH MY GOD I’M GONNA DIE OH MY GOD